This log or journal is to be updated regularly indicating that the topics for Personal Development portion of CaPP have been discussed with your mentor. There is no necessity to include the substance of the discussion with your mentor unless you choose to do so, all you need to receive a "complete" for this log is the date, time, and topic discussed. Whether you use the comments section of this form is entirely up to you.
The only persons who have access to this log are you and your facilitator. Your facilitator is primarily interested in assuring that the topics required for completing this course have been met.
The dictionary definition of mentor is "A wise and trusted counselor or teacher." A CaPP mentor is a person of your choice who will help guide you through the CaPP topics as assigned for each week. A mentor is someone you will go to for guidance or counsel if you have questions or concerns about the material presented in this course.
You must choose your mentor very carefully. This must be someone (probably older than you) who you look up to and respect. You must have enough confidence in this person that you could ask any question about any topic and know you will get good advice. While it is always up to you if you use the guidance of others, the mentor you choose must be flexible enough not to be unduly upset with you if you do not follow the guidance offered. Nevertheless, the person you choose for this very important role in your life should be someone whose guidance you are willing to carefully consider.
Mentors come in various shapes and sizes, but they are almost always older than you because you will want to rely on their life experiences to help guide you in making decisions. Always remember that your mentor was once a teenager also, and went through the same decision-making process about life as you are now engaged in.
One might naturally first turn to a parent as a mentor. If one or more of your parents already play a strong role in your life, then there is no reason to change this. If you would like a parent to play a stronger role in your life, then this could be a good opportunity to open up lines of communication that might otherwise remain closed. There are both good and bad things about having a parent as a mentor, but the former almost always outweigh the latter.
You might also select a close relative to act as your mentor. If you "get along well" with an aunt or uncle, for example, this might be a good person to approach to be your mentor. Remember that mentoring is a personal, face-to-face, one-on-one activity, so the mentor must live nearby.
If you are attending a school, you might choose a favorite teacher as a mentor. In schools, teachers often take on the mentoring role more frequently and with more students than you might imagine.
Other people to consider in choosing a mentor might include a religious advisor, a close friend of the family, a club leader, or any one else you know whose opinions you will respect.
First of all, mentors must be willing to listen. Simply talking to someone about an issue, whether the mentor offers any opinions or not, often serves to clarify our own position. Secondly, mentors must be prepared to give guidance, and must be in a position to be forgiving if that guidance is not taken. We all have to make our own mistakes -- others cannot make them for us.
More important than anything, a mentor must be willing to give you a period of time each week -- a weekly meeting -- to discuss the weekly topic. These meetings can vary from a few minutes (which could be a simple question on the telephone) to more than an hour (for a more complete discussion of a topic). It is impossible to "legislate" this aspect of the mentoring process.
The role of the mentor is to meet with you on a regular basis to discuss the CaPP discussion topic. As stated before, this "meeting" could be as simple as a short telephone call to a complex discussion of the meaning of life. It depends upon the topic and the "space" of both you and your mentor.
Included with your course materials you received when you registered for this class, there will be a document for your mentor and your parents(s) or guardian(s) to sign indicating that they approve of this relationship. You might also wish to make the CaPP Website available to your mentor so that s/he may be able to access the material you are required to cover. If there is something you do not understand about this process, please contact your school counselor.
More than anything, your mentor must be interested in you and in your lifeskills progress.
Your role in the mentoring process is to make sure your mentor knows the topic of discussion in advance of the meeting. You should go to the meeting with specific questions about the designated discussion topic. It is your role to "devise the lesson plan" for the meeting -- this should not be up to the mentor. Read the on-line material, do the activities, and do a lot of thinking about the issues presented. As you read, begin to devise questions about issues of which you are not entirely clear. These questions can form the basis of your discussion with the mentor.
Most of all, if guidance is given by your mentor, consider it carefully before making life decisions.
With any luck, the mentor will help you develop a set of values -- guidelines to live by -- that will characterize you as an adult in society.
You may have heard statements like "I don't trust her" or "you always know where you stand with him" or "don't tell her anything or the whole neighborhood will know." These are all values that characterize people you know (and probably love). Statements we might want people to make about us could include "I would trust her with my life" or "if you are ever in trouble he is the person to turn to." These represent another set of values. Values are what will characterize our personality as a adult. Children are expected to act in certain ways, but adults are expected to act in other kinds of ways. If we are not able to make this transition by adopting a set of values, we remain children as adults.
Values are determined or dictated by many segments of society. The family helps us establish our first set of values (do not steal, do not lie, share with your brothers and sisters, etc.). If we are religious people, the church helps us establish another related set of values (though shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness (i.e., lie), etc.). Governments force upon us another set of values through laws that society has enacted (i.e., underage drinking is a crime, murder is a criminal offense, B&Es result in jail sentences, some drugs are illegal, etc.).
Developing your own set of values will determine how society in general will perceive you as an adult. How society perceives your values is largely determined by how individuals in society view you as a person. Everyone has their opinion about everyone else (don't you?). These collective opinions identify how your set of values is being received.
The first thing to do in establishing a mentorship is to sit down and make a list of the people you know (and love) that could be your mentor. Begin with your parents and then add other people who might fill this role until the list seems to be finished (for now). Now place beside each name both the positive and negative aspects of approaching specific people to be your mentor. One of the most important considerations could be the time that your prospective mentor might have available for you in this process. Make sure you destroy this document after you have completed your analysis -- no one should see this list or the comments but you.
After you have completed this process, it should be pretty clear to you the order in which you should approach people to be your mentor.
There may be topics assigned in the course materials that some persons on your list of mentors may be uncomfortable discussing with you. This is natural, because some topics, such as pre-marital sex and date violence are very sensitive and political topics.
When meeting with a prospective mentor you may wish to go over the list of topics in the course outline to ascertain whether or not s/he would be comfortable discussing these issues. Once you have completed discussions on any particular topic with your mentor, you may inform your facilitator if there are unanswered questions in any of these areas. You will then be advised of other people or resources you might wish to consult.
Approach your prospective mentors in the order you have established from your research. Be prepared for people to tell you that they do not have the necessary time to do this (it could take up to 20 hours).
Always remember that your first choices for mentor may not "pan out." Mentoring someone in developing a value set is a long and involved process. Adults, especially if they are in business, are very busy people, and may feel that they would not have sufficient time available to devote to this process. Consider this a compliment. This means that they care for you so much that they do not want to see you "short changed" in this process.
Continue moving down your list of prospective mentors until you find a good match (consider this similar to a job interview -- you are seldom hired for the first job for which you interview).
Once you have reached agreement with a mentor who is willing to work with you, ask your parent(s) and mentor to send in the required documentation. From that point it is assumed that you and the mentor will be working together closely from week to week discussing the topics as assigned.
Use this Checklist
Go to Student/Mentor Log
Below Aran will provide a link to the form-based Student/Mentor log.